Sigh

So I went to make a blog post as a task for studying for my Google Educator Level 2 exam and found out that I had started one so very long ago to keep track of my girls and their cute sayings. Sadly, I only made two posts then but tonight it was so fun to read these little snippets long forgotten. Things were so busy then with two little ones close together. I can barely remember so many things about that time and was so overwhelmed just with the daily care of life and survival that I surely didn't savor it enough. I wish I could go back, with meds in place to help with the "sads" and just savor even a day or two of them being little. Feeling their little bodies in my arms, hearing their tiny sweet voices and sharing that special feeling of being their whole world. I KNOW little kids and how to be a good mommy to them. I do NOT know teenagers. I don't know how to help them and keep them happy and content. They are my world but I am now just a part of their every-growing circle of independence and influence. It's hard to let go of that bond but I also know that it's an important part of their growing up. Sigh.